True Crime Tv Binge-watcher Pillows

'After we showed him the partial print we got at the crime scene he decided to lawyer up.'

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

"I've no idea. Maybe it's the slumber channel."

"This is probably not the time to admit I only joined the force because I figured we'd just be chasing cat burglars."

'This has the makings of their toughest season ever.'

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

Joan Hickson

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

"I know! Two years without anymore Game Of Thrones?"

I understand that our cat Magus died. I miss her a lot. But I wish my parents wouldn't tiptoe around it. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You don't have to watch Youtube clips of CSI: Miami to understand that death is a part of life. The thing I don't understand about our cat's death is, who would've killed her and left a mountain of unresolved clues that only a crack forensics team can figure out? Where were you at 8:45 p.m.? The Youtube Generation grows up fast.

Alien uses astronaut's visor as TV to watch news.

"Clive used to be an astronaut."

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

Captive Audience at the World Cup.

"#notguilty."

'I just love this new reality show, TRADING BANK ACCOUNTS!'

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

"Press catch up, and find out what we just slept through."

"So, just to be clear: the 'voices inside your head' told you to launder the money from forfeited law enforcement seizures in exchange for federal tax breaks for your Uncle Mark in Costa Rica?"

He's making a list --- Holmes solves cases quicker when he itemizes deductions.

Next camera crew 5 mins

The Big Book of Suspicious Crawl Spaces

'I hate frisking magicians!'

'If it's a universal remote, how come it doesn't work on the refrigerator?'

'When I grow up I want to join the SWAT team!'

nstead of looking at fish bowl, a kid watches the fish on TV as they are being video taped.

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

Miami Mice

'Careful, Mugsy, he's got a tool.'

The 24-Hour Celebrities Doing Something Stupid Channel.

"It's ok -- It's the Enlightenment Channel."

"Take your time. Do you see the person who made you wear that dress?"