Crime Scene Critic Pillows

Man being mugged while watched on TV by security cameras.

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

"True crime meets reality TV"

"We need rain."

'It was part way through the initial investigation that detective Walters felt as if he was being watched, but there was no one in the room. No one that is except the cat, who sat contently on the chair and watched him with an almost human repose.'

Next camera crew 5 mins

'Any ideas on motive?' 'Only one, Chief.'

"The DNA sample from the mink fibres found in the suspect's car matched the DNA sample from the mink coat found at the scene of the crime, so I'm thinking, maybe these minks were twins?"

'Yes, folks, the victim was a bolt. Now, I'm afraid, he's a deadbolt.'

Police outline artist training academy: the intro 101 class.

'Why is it always about me?'

Bribery and Corruption.

Police man stands guard at a murder scene in Egyptology department of a museum.

'It's the same EVERY year... 5 minutes to midnight; victims are all male, and they're carrying large sums of money.'

"According to stomach content analysis he'll be dead in half an hour."

Cop Shop: Bulk, dried blood, shaved hair, ground teeth, assorted body parts and bone fragments.

CSI Wonderland. (Photographer takes a picture of a cracked Humpty Dumpty. Investigators collect evidence from the scene.)

'By the looks of these skid marks, Humpty didn't fall- he was pushed!'

"... and I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling forensic pathologists."

"Wear a wire? Oh, no, all of our police informants have gone wireless."

'Looks like the victim was trying to tell us something,'

Newton's Law and Order.

"I couldn't finish that book either."

Turkey Autopsy

CSI: Alaska. "What have we got, Ted?" "Looks like a snowball with a rock in it...I'll know more when I get it back to the lab."

'We suspect death by Sunday supplement.'

Sewee-Cide.

"Has anyone considered that maybe his dress was a disguise?"

"Looks like he's been salted, Sarge.2

'You're experienced with blood stains I trust?' (Smarthy ACME Carpet Cleaners)