Crime Scene Enthusiast Pillows

"Any clues?"

"Earlier you testified, and I quote: 'I wouldn't hurt a fly.' And yet police found this unregistered weapon in your home, along with several dead flies."

It was a tough case. Plenty of witnesses, but no one was talking.

"Oh, great. That'll be like finding a...well, you know."

"Nope. Looks to me like a clear-cut case of suicide by somehow reaching around behind the back and sticking a knife in backward. Let's get a drink."

'Okay, all of you, stay right where you are. The murderer may still be near.'

'We'll have to check dental records to be sure, but we think it's the tooth fairy.'

"I found a partial thumbprint. Let's get the heck out of here"

'It's your turn! I done the dusting yesterday!'

"I'm rather enjoying this." - Moth interrogation under spot light

"I think he must have had a death wish"

Turkey Autopsy

"Looks like a tragic accident Chief. Although how he could trip and fall under a road roller beats me."

"From the violent nature of the multiple stab wounds, I'd say the victim was probably a consultant."

Melted Snow Man behind police cordon

'I thought everything stopped upon hit the ground.'

Missing Persons.

Scene of Grime murder in greasy spoon cafe.

"He might have fallen but these tire marks suggest something completely different"

'Stop your whining. There won't be any evidence. You're good at burying bones in the backyard, aren't you?'

'Motive? We're guessing jealousy.'

Embellishing the police chalk outline.

The end is nigh.

'I'm really sorry about you husband ma'am.'

"Just a simple outline next time Crabtree, there's a good lad."

What's thirty to life compared to thge certain knowledge the toilet seat stays down ?

Another myth dispelled.

"Shishito peppers really are everywhere now."

A smoking gun relaxing in police department evidence room.

"Ignore him - he hates everyone I haul in for questioning."

Snowman and Policeman

"Come on out, Snider. We know you're in there."

"I should be home at the regular time... unless the charges stick."

Did you see the Peeping Tom in this line-up, Ma'am?

"Judging from the position of the body and the blunt trauma evidenced there on the head and neck, it's clear that the weight of all those back issues of the New Yorker came crashing down..."