Crime Scene Buff Pillows

"Yep, I'm pretty sure curiosity was involved."

"Hmmm. . . it's certainly a puzzle."

'So you say she wasn't your real grandmother?'

Crime Scene Humour

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

'I'm sure that the autopsy will confirm it was a suicide.'

'It was part way through the initial investigation that detective Walters felt as if he was being watched, but there was no one in the room. No one that is except the cat, who sat contently on the chair and watched him with an almost human repose.'

Next camera crew 5 mins

"We need rain."

Robber on treadmill

Cop Shop: Bulk, dried blood, shaved hair, ground teeth, assorted body parts and bone fragments.

"According to stomach content analysis he'll be dead in half an hour."

Turkey Autopsy

'Yeah, forensics tested the carpet sample and found something alright - but it wasn't blood,,, Any guess what it might have been, Mr McGruff'

Well, you're busted! Forensics just came back: the bite-marks match your dental records!

Party balloons. Looks like an inside job. Helium.

Penguin identity parade

"We think we've found the murder weapon Sir"

Hanging Mime - Such a waste of talent.

"I'm home, with all my DNA."

"Let me through... I’m an armchair detective!"

"Check this wall for fingerprints."

"Well, obviously the victim had a French enemy."

'You're not supposed to block off an area to look for your contact lens.'

"Has anyone considered that maybe his dress was a disguise?"

'So far we don't have any suspects.'

"Ignore him - he hates everyone I haul in for questioning."

'I'm going to ask you one more time; who left a hot mug on this table?'

"Any clues?"

"I found a partial thumbprint. Let's get the heck out of here"

"Looks like a tragic accident Chief. Although how he could trip and fall under a road roller beats me."

Melted Snow Man behind police cordon

'Jimmy. Stick to the outline.'