Crime Busters Pillows

'Never mind the root causes!'

Parole officer: Hanging in and hanging out.

Department of Criminology

hard-boiled egg...

'You know too much,'

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

"The numbers don't lie . . . but we do."

"I worked hard, I played hard and I embezzled hard."

The new Physics

'All right pal, just hand over the nose and nobody gets hurt.'

Lawyer's secretary has in boxes labeled: Before the Fact and After the Fact.

"My client was across town at the time of the murder, as a quick sniff of Exhibit A will demonstrate."

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

'By the looks of these skid marks, Humpty didn't fall- he was pushed!'

Phone Hacking Explained - 50 p.

Mystery Writing 101 - Mailbox: The butler did it, the gardener, the chauffeur.

"... and I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling forensic pathologists."

'Apparently my DNA had guilt written all over it.'

Dog detectives

"We understand you wish to report a crime Madam? I'm Inspector La Garde and this is my able assistant Defective Constable Wallis."

"If a tree falls in the forest and hits a certain individual, would he still be able to testify?"

'Ragrding our cash-flow problewm, it's agreed then...Sims enters the bank at 10am, Riggs will follow, and Yates drives the getaway car...'

"I told you we should have had separate trials."

'We've got a new DNA database...'

"Listen, that's a Tang Dynasty urn we just broke."

STRIP Hambone: Computer an accessory to computer fraud

"Fifth robbery this week. That's not a security camera ??" a local TV news station installed it to save time."

Locking Up Crime

"Our forensic scientist quit, so our computer guy has stepped in for now."

'Vice squad - you're busted.'

"You can lie to the prosecutor but don't ever lie to your co-conspirators."

"Well well, Mr. Chamberlain. It seems you've discovered my secret."

'Your father installed a security system.'

Sistine murder

"Looks like he's been salted, Sarge.2