Crime Busting Enthusiast Pillows

'If they kill you we won't get our bonus.'

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

"I feel like bad guys aren't as scared of me in the summer."

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

"Don't editorialize."

"Number 2. Step forward please."

"So, just to be clear: the 'voices inside your head' told you to launder the money from forfeited law enforcement seizures in exchange for federal tax breaks for your Uncle Mark in Costa Rica?"

'During the break, my client stole my wallet.'

'Keep an eye on that one. He looks like a sketchy character to me.'

'You know, this is a pretty dangerous line of work you're in...'

'The police is looking for a teenager who reads books... I bet they'll never solve this case!'

"I did, boss, I swear, I buried him myself."

"By Ned, you're right, inspector—the body has been moved."

"Take your time, sir. Tell me if you can see the thief."

Notorious gangsters, Bunny and Clyde.

The old good-cop, psycho-cop routine.

'With the kind cooperation of the underworld, we present live, for the first time on TV, an actual holdup.'

'Looks like the victim was trying to tell us something,'

'Oh, hello Dave. Would you like that in untraceable, used notes, like last time?'

"They've solved the cause of death of Richard III."

Gangster's To-Do List

Ignorance of the Law

'Make it look like an accident.'

Cop Shop/Fake evidence/Plant now for spring.

"Daddy, can I have a pony killed?"

"The sweet smell of the leaves and the rain make fall such a refreshing time!"

A convict escaping during the press scrum

"It doesn't look much like a 'witty painting' now, does it sir?"

"Another clear case of COVID19."

"Don't worry, honey. This is just for our murder podcast."