Crime Enthusiasts Pillows

"You never helped us dig, so you go last."

'Your wallet's being stolen. It's good you came in when it first started bothering you. We've caught it early.'

"Gentlemen, our troubles are over, this is Tony 'The Torch' Barbella"

'The crime round here is quite blatant'.

'I told you the next time you crossed me it would be curtains for you!'

'He wouldn't stop telling me his whole boring life story. I finally had to end it.'

'We made it! We're on the most wanted list!'

Quaker Mafia

'We'll give it a month till the insurance money allows them to replace this lot, then come back again. . .'

"I wish to report an attempted murder please."

Darren, have you been shoplifting again?

'You'll have to start your rounds earlier. Another stickup man got all our money an hour ago.'

'The bank robbery went without a hitch, but then some GP reported me for smoking in the getaway car.'

Somali Pirates: 'For crying out load. You're making us look stupid.'

Paper or plastic?

'I think you have the wrong idea,sonny!'

I'll say one thing for a life of crime...whenever I needed to feel wanted I just visited the post office.

'My goodness! Every 12 year old has got a better gun than yours, your mask is stupid, and I'm not even going to mention your working clothes. Here, take my card.'

'Read ALL about it! Newspaper Thief STRIKES again!' (A Newspaper boy with no papers to sell).

'I hear you're pretty good at forgeries?'

'I admit I robbed the bank, Your Honor, but what's done is done.'

of course its a violin

'Stealing office supplies, eh? I'm in for murder one!'

'I admire your zeal in fighting crime, but isn't that a little harsh for littering'

"What are you in for? Bad behaviour, I hope..."

And the 'Baby Bandit' strikes again.

"Can I take your coat?"

"You can't just yell, 'Get him!' You've gotta tell me he's got bacon in his pockets or something."

"This job would be so much easier if you didn't play the flute."

Bank Robbery Statistics

Identity parade

"I'm not really a policeman."

"Next time you rob a bank, don't stick around to take a bunch of selfies with the money."

'Before we go in, try to forget everything you thought you knew about criminal masterminds!'

"You could make a decent living robbing banks, if it wasn't for the bank fees..."