Crime Enthusiasts Pillows

"You never helped us dig, so you go last."

'Your wallet's being stolen. It's good you came in when it first started bothering you. We've caught it early.'

"Gentlemen, our troubles are over, this is Tony 'The Torch' Barbella"

'Yeah, yeah, the floral pattern is fine. Weez just lookin' for somethin' a little wider, maybe eight, nine feet.'

'We'll give it a month till the insurance money allows them to replace this lot, then come back again. . .'

'We made it! We're on the most wanted list!'

'He wouldn't stop telling me his whole boring life story. I finally had to end it.'

'I told you the next time you crossed me it would be curtains for you!'

Darren, have you been shoplifting again?

"I wish to report an attempted murder please."

'The crime round here is quite blatant'.

Quaker Mafia

Paper or plastic?

'The bank robbery went without a hitch, but then some GP reported me for smoking in the getaway car.'

Midtown Laundry and Dry Cleaning

"Next time you rob a bank, don't stick around to take a bunch of selfies with the money."

"I'm not really a policeman."

Identity parade

Bank Robber and Food Bank Robber

"This job would be so much easier if you didn't play the flute."

"You can't just yell, 'Get him!' You've gotta tell me he's got bacon in his pockets or something."

"Can I take your coat?"

Somali Pirates: 'For crying out load. You're making us look stupid.'

I'll say one thing for a life of crime...whenever I needed to feel wanted I just visited the post office.

'I think you have the wrong idea,sonny!'

'You'll have to start your rounds earlier. Another stickup man got all our money an hour ago.'

'My goodness! Every 12 year old has got a better gun than yours, your mask is stupid, and I'm not even going to mention your working clothes. Here, take my card.'

'Read ALL about it! Newspaper Thief STRIKES again!' (A Newspaper boy with no papers to sell).

'I hear you're pretty good at forgeries?'

'I admit I robbed the bank, Your Honor, but what's done is done.'

of course its a violin

'Stealing office supplies, eh? I'm in for murder one!'

'I admire your zeal in fighting crime, but isn't that a little harsh for littering'

"What are you in for? Bad behaviour, I hope..."

And the 'Baby Bandit' strikes again.