Crime Buster Enthusiast Pillows

'Look!. . . No Arms and One Leg Man. . . Let's get outta here!!!'

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

"I feel like bad guys aren't as scared of me in the summer."

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

"Don't editorialize."

"Number 2. Step forward please."

Police film evidence

"So, just to be clear: the 'voices inside your head' told you to launder the money from forfeited law enforcement seizures in exchange for federal tax breaks for your Uncle Mark in Costa Rica?"

"#notguilty."

'During the break, my client stole my wallet.'

Lawyer's secretary has in boxes labeled: Before the Fact and After the Fact.

"Okay so which one stole your cereal?"

'Keep an eye on that one. He looks like a sketchy character to me.'

'You know, this is a pretty dangerous line of work you're in...'

'The police is looking for a teenager who reads books... I bet they'll never solve this case!'

'And for those of you calling in to say he is behind us - OH NO he isn't.'

"If a tree falls in the forest and hits a certain individual, would he still be able to testify?"

Notorious gangsters, Bunny and Clyde.

'Oh, hello Dave. Would you like that in untraceable, used notes, like last time?'

The old good-cop, psycho-cop routine.

"I did, boss, I swear, I buried him myself."

"They've solved the cause of death of Richard III."

'With the kind cooperation of the underworld, we present live, for the first time on TV, an actual holdup.'

"Take your time, sir. Tell me if you can see the thief."

'Looks like the victim was trying to tell us something,'

"By Ned, you're right, inspector—the body has been moved."

Gangster's To-Do List

Cop Shop/Fake evidence/Plant now for spring.

Ignorance of the Law

'Make it look like an accident.'