Crime Buster Enthusiast Gifts

'Look!. . . No Arms and One Leg Man. . . Let's get outta here!!!'

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

"I feel like bad guys aren't as scared of me in the summer."

I understand that our cat Magus died. I miss her a lot. But I wish my parents wouldn't tiptoe around it. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You don't have to watch Youtube clips of CSI: Miami to understand that death is a part of life. The thing I don't understand about our cat's death is, who would've killed her and left a mountain of unresolved clues that only a crack forensics team can figure out? Where were you at 8:45 p.m.? The Youtube Generation grows up fast.

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

"Don't editorialize."

"Number 2. Step forward please."

"So, just to be clear: the 'voices inside your head' told you to launder the money from forfeited law enforcement seizures in exchange for federal tax breaks for your Uncle Mark in Costa Rica?"

"#notguilty."

Police film evidence

"Okay so which one stole your cereal?"

'Keep an eye on that one. He looks like a sketchy character to me.'

'If anybody here knows why these two should not be wed...'

'During the break, my client stole my wallet.'

Lawyer's secretary has in boxes labeled: Before the Fact and After the Fact.

'You know, this is a pretty dangerous line of work you're in...'

'The police is looking for a teenager who reads books... I bet they'll never solve this case!'

'And for those of you calling in to say he is behind us - OH NO he isn't.'

"They've solved the cause of death of Richard III."

'Looks like the victim was trying to tell us something,'

'Oh, hello Dave. Would you like that in untraceable, used notes, like last time?'

Fish mobsters.

"By Ned, you're right, inspector—the body has been moved."

"If a tree falls in the forest and hits a certain individual, would he still be able to testify?"

"Take your time, sir. Tell me if you can see the thief."

"I did, boss, I swear, I buried him myself."

'With the kind cooperation of the underworld, we present live, for the first time on TV, an actual holdup.'

Notorious gangsters, Bunny and Clyde.

The old good-cop, psycho-cop routine.

"Daddy, can I have a pony killed?"

'Make it look like an accident.'

"Fifth robbery this week. That's not a security camera ??" a local TV news station installed it to save time."