Crime-solving Enthusiast Gifts

Grand Theft Auto Teaching Kids

First on the scene were Detective Boyd and Special Investigator Little Billy.

"Looks like some kind of laser beam. No sign of the murder weapon."

'I think the eyes were closer together.'

'That's nothing like him. The bloke that beat you up was a little skinny guy.'

Our inquiries have hit a big wall of silence

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

"I feel like bad guys aren't as scared of me in the summer."

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

"Don't editorialize."

"So, just to be clear: the 'voices inside your head' told you to launder the money from forfeited law enforcement seizures in exchange for federal tax breaks for your Uncle Mark in Costa Rica?"

"Number 2. Step forward please."

'During the break, my client stole my wallet.'

'Keep an eye on that one. He looks like a sketchy character to me.'

'You know, this is a pretty dangerous line of work you're in...'

'The police is looking for a teenager who reads books... I bet they'll never solve this case!'

'Where did I bury the loot? -- I thought you buried the loot!'

'Oh, hello Dave. Would you like that in untraceable, used notes, like last time?'

"By Ned, you're right, inspector—the body has been moved."

'With the kind cooperation of the underworld, we present live, for the first time on TV, an actual holdup.'

"I did, boss, I swear, I buried him myself."

"Take your time, sir. Tell me if you can see the thief."

"They've solved the cause of death of Richard III."

The old good-cop, psycho-cop routine.

Notorious gangsters, Bunny and Clyde.

Fish mobsters.

Undercover Biophysicists

"Daddy, can I have a pony killed?"

Cop Shop/Fake evidence/Plant now for spring.

'Make it look like an accident.'

Ignorance of the Law

Gangster's To-Do List

'Was Monty the culprit? Had he fixed a horse race? He couldn't remember.'