Cyber Crime Buster Pillows

"You have reached technical support...your call is important to us so please stay on the line..."

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

Lawyer's secretary has in boxes labeled: Before the Fact and After the Fact.

"If a tree falls in the forest and hits a certain individual, would he still be able to testify?"

Robot Robber

"Fifth robbery this week. That's not a security camera ??" a local TV news station installed it to save time."

I'd rather be phishing.

"Yours is the worst case of identity theft I've investigated."

'Your father installed a security system.'

Bureau of Missing Persons

"You have been specially selected to upload your bank details. Offer ends midnight."

"Yes, I'm a superhero. I'm not attractive, muscular or charming because I work in the 'cyber crimes' division."

"What happened to the good old days when people just breached contracts?'

"Didn't anyone ever warn you about opening an e-mail from someone you don't know?"

'Hey, we're doing an office pool on who gets to bust that illegal card game on Main.'

"One of you got online and stole my identity, which is weird because there's not one thing unique about us."

"My goodness, Gurkenham! This is the worst case of identity theft I've ever seen!"

Whistle blower...

"He opened his email and saw the attachment from an unknown source. His hand slowly reached to click on the paper clip. He had no idea what horror awaited him. . ."

"This is a special place we have for phishing scammers!"

Berlitz guide to Scamese

'The prisons are full, so I'm releasing you back into the wild.'

'How did I find you? Let's just say a little bird told me.'

'Remember when your identity was stolen? I just bought it back on eBay.'

First space criminal investigation

"I'm getting old. . . I only got 17 hate comments!"

"We're cyber criminals, Barnes, NOT common criminals. Go get cleaned up and look like you're tech-savvy."

"And what did you do when the defendent allegedly entered your home?"

Amateur Spam.

'A Policeman hey? My dad is a crime-fighter too: He's a Forensic Accountant...'

Auditing

'Damn! I think the FCA have rumbled us.'

'Hey, rookie! Go chase that guy!'

'You have got a computer worm!'

"My policeman father gave me a ticket on the information super highway!"