Internet Crime Buff Pillows

'Remember when your identity was stolen? I just bought it back on eBay.'

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

hard-boiled egg...

'You know too much,'

"The numbers don't lie . . . but we do."

Alternative Medicine

"..Your analysis and medication would be perfect if you were a goat."

'See, dear, you can't believe everything you read. It says so right here on the internet!'

"I worked hard, I played hard and I embezzled hard."

The new Physics

"Didn't I warn you about buying medication from the internet?!"

'By the looks of these skid marks, Humpty didn't fall- he was pushed!'

"I told you we should have had separate trials."

"Listen, that's a Tang Dynasty urn we just broke."

"If this is secret information the government doesn't want us to know, how come we can read about it on facebook?"

"Looks like he's been salted, Sarge.2

"They'll never guess how we stole their data."

I'd rather be phishing.

"Yes, I'm a superhero. I'm not attractive, muscular or charming because I work in the 'cyber crimes' division."

"You can lie to the prosecutor but don't ever lie to your co-conspirators."

"The tweet you posted last night struck a chord around the world, united all factions, and basically altered the course of humanity."

A giant hand identifies giant legs in a police line-up.

"One of you got online and stole my identity, which is weird because there's not one thing unique about us."

Black market trade in foodstuffs is thriving.

'You have a harmless but highly irritating form of nervous disorder we call D.Y.I. - Diagnosing Yourself on the Internet.'

The Darknet starts right here.

"Damn it, Flopsy, you've cost me another bust."

"It's easier to make 'em talk when you just cement the feet."

"He opened his email and saw the attachment from an unknown source. His hand slowly reached to click on the paper clip. He had no idea what horror awaited him. . ."

Berlitz guide to Scamese

'I don't care if they do help you remember which role you're supposed to be playing. Take them off!'

'No, you can't fake your own death and leave all your money to yourself.'

'Where was I on the night of the 7th of August? I was home washing my hair.'