Internet Crime Buff Prints

'Remember when your identity was stolen? I just bought it back on eBay.'

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

hard-boiled egg...

'You know too much,'

"The numbers don't lie . . . but we do."

Alternative Medicine

'See, dear, you can't believe everything you read. It says so right here on the internet!'

"..Your analysis and medication would be perfect if you were a goat."

The new Physics

"I worked hard, I played hard and I embezzled hard."

Says here the Navy's going to be patrolling the South China Sea. It could spark a history-changing war. Google tells me the last time a Naval conflict changed history, it was the Battle of Midway. You were alive at that time. How awesome was it to already be ancient when Midway happened? I never expected a question like that from a prepubescent stooge like you. Was it as awesome as when you saw Cleopatra lose at the Battle of Actium? I see you're bringing Google's a-game today.

"Didn't I warn you about buying medication from the internet?!"

'By the looks of these skid marks, Humpty didn't fall- he was pushed!'

"Listen, that's a Tang Dynasty urn we just broke."

"I told you we should have had separate trials."

"Looks like he's been salted, Sarge.2

"If this is secret information the government doesn't want us to know, how come we can read about it on facebook?"

I'd like a second opinion on your self-diagnosis - So a random guy from the waiting room is googling your symptoms.

I'd rather be phishing.

"You can lie to the prosecutor but don't ever lie to your co-conspirators."

"They'll never guess how we stole their data."

"Yes, I'm a superhero. I'm not attractive, muscular or charming because I work in the 'cyber crimes' division."

"The tweet you posted last night struck a chord around the world, united all factions, and basically altered the course of humanity."

A giant hand identifies giant legs in a police line-up.

'You have a harmless but highly irritating form of nervous disorder we call D.Y.I. - Diagnosing Yourself on the Internet.'

Black market trade in foodstuffs is thriving.

"One of you got online and stole my identity, which is weird because there's not one thing unique about us."

The Darknet starts right here.

'We know the elephant died when he jumped off the roof. But the other guy? It's a mystery.'

"Damn it, Flopsy, you've cost me another bust."

"It's easier to make 'em talk when you just cement the feet."

"He opened his email and saw the attachment from an unknown source. His hand slowly reached to click on the paper clip. He had no idea what horror awaited him. . ."

'I don't care if they do help you remember which role you're supposed to be playing. Take them off!'

Berlitz guide to Scamese

'No, you can't fake your own death and leave all your money to yourself.'