Internet Crime Aficionado Pillows

Cyber Theft

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

"Don't editorialize."

"Number 2. Step forward please."

"It's a fantastic computer! It's so old that none of today's hackers know how to hack it!"

'Keep an eye on that one. He looks like a sketchy character to me.'

'You know, this is a pretty dangerous line of work you're in...'

'The police is looking for a teenager who reads books... I bet they'll never solve this case!'

"Take your time, sir. Tell me if you can see the thief."

"They've solved the cause of death of Richard III."

'With the kind cooperation of the underworld, we present live, for the first time on TV, an actual holdup.'

'Instead of jail time, our head of finance chose the stock option.'

'Make it look like an accident.'

Gangster's To-Do List

Ignorance of the Law

"I believe this is a case for Sherlock Holmes..."

'Was Monty the culprit? Had he fixed a horse race? He couldn't remember.'

"The robber was about 5' 11"...."

Exposed and imprisoned.

A convict escaping during the press scrum

"Don't worry, honey. This is just for our murder podcast."

Washing line with robber outfit and swag bag hanging up to dry.

'You've not been involved with money laundering before have you Joe!'

'Have you found a precedent? Yes, you did the same crime in 1974.'

'Emotional blackmail.'

"They're gaining on us - start throwing the doughnuts."

"Little Timmy is big enough to use you burglary tools."

"Whack him. And if you can't whack him, redact him."

"Who, Big Sal? Sure, we were in cahoots years ago, but we fell out of cahoots."

"I'm going out for beef chow mein - want anything?"

Police are searching for a male between 16 and 25 years, with a silky sheer taupe complexion and a run over his left eye.

You know retail is in a bad way when...

The Continuing Adventures of Mel Hufnagel, Corporate Head-Hunter...

'Brilliant writing, Mr. Fenswick, but I'm afraid we'll have to pass on your 'How to Commit the Perfect Crime'!'