Crimebuster Pillows

"We'll do everything we can. In the meantime, would you like a new identity to replace your stolen one."

Nelson Mandela in despair over the crime rates in SA.

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

'What's wrong with those Europeans? We have more murders in this city than England, France Germany and Spain combined.'

"Pardon me, Vito, but I'm holding the talking stick now."

'You don't have a license and registration, do you?'

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

"I felt I could make more of a difference within the system."

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

The new Physics

"I worked hard, I played hard and I embezzled hard."

"I've been dumping bodies here for years, and it seems to me that the sea level is rising."

The evidence destroyed

"I'm not leading the witness; I'm winding up my segment on heinous crimes!"

Lawyer's secretary has in boxes labeled: Before the Fact and After the Fact.

"Thrilling news, sweetie! The National Gallery's entire collection of Velázquez is now attributed to you."

'During the break, my client stole my wallet.'

Mobsters at the Beach

"All I can figure is that he must have been inspecting the water quality of our lakes and rivers when he became entangled in cement."

'Of course he didn't believe the stork story. Try telling him we made him with a 3D printer.'

'Mark Antony addreses the mob'

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

"It's a forgery―and a recent one, too."

'Apparently my DNA had guilt written all over it.'

'Where did I bury the loot? -- I thought you buried the loot!'

"Take your time, sir. Tell me if you can see the thief."

"We understand you wish to report a crime Madam? I'm Inspector La Garde and this is my able assistant Defective Constable Wallis."

"My client was across town at the time of the murder, as a quick sniff of Exhibit A will demonstrate."

Phone Hacking Explained - 50 p.

"OK, well, if you do hear anything, be sure to give us a call."