Cyber Crime Buster Gifts

"You have reached technical support...your call is important to us so please stay on the line..."

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

Lawyer's secretary has in boxes labeled: Before the Fact and After the Fact.

"If a tree falls in the forest and hits a certain individual, would he still be able to testify?"

Robot Robber

"Fifth robbery this week. That's not a security camera ??" a local TV news station installed it to save time."

"You have been specially selected to upload your bank details. Offer ends midnight."

Ask Sadie

Bureau of Missing Persons

"Yours is the worst case of identity theft I've investigated."

I'd rather be phishing.

'Your father installed a security system.'

"Yes, I'm a superhero. I'm not attractive, muscular or charming because I work in the 'cyber crimes' division."

"What happened to the good old days when people just breached contracts?'

"Didn't anyone ever warn you about opening an e-mail from someone you don't know?"

"My goodness, Gurkenham! This is the worst case of identity theft I've ever seen!"

'Hey, we're doing an office pool on who gets to bust that illegal card game on Main.'

"One of you got online and stole my identity, which is weird because there's not one thing unique about us."

Whistle blower...

"He opened his email and saw the attachment from an unknown source. His hand slowly reached to click on the paper clip. He had no idea what horror awaited him. . ."

"This is a special place we have for phishing scammers!"

Berlitz guide to Scamese

'The prisons are full, so I'm releasing you back into the wild.'

First space criminal investigation

'How did I find you? Let's just say a little bird told me.'

"And what did you do when the defendent allegedly entered your home?"

"We're cyber criminals, Barnes, NOT common criminals. Go get cleaned up and look like you're tech-savvy."

Amateur Spam.

'Remember when your identity was stolen? I just bought it back on eBay.'

"I'm getting old. . . I only got 17 hate comments!"

'A Policeman hey? My dad is a crime-fighter too: He's a Forensic Accountant...'

'Damn! I think the FCA have rumbled us.'

Auditing

Goal!

"My policeman father gave me a ticket on the information super highway!"