Credit Score Crusader Gifts

"He leaves behind a loving wife, two beautiful children and a credit score of 780."

Mort, you owe $856 on your tab. What are you talking about?! I pay my tab every month! Yes, but you've never paid the finance charge. It was clearly written on the back of the tab receipt that there's a 29.9% finance charge. I don't have that kind of money! I refuse to pay it! You can pay your finance charge in installments, but I'll have to add a finance charge. I'm calling congress!

"You have a serious pre-existing condition...your credit score."

Alice in Wonderland: The Queen Turns into a Pack of Cards.

"You'll have to forgive Roland. He still uses 'stomach' and 'abdominals' interchangeably."

"Global warming, income inequalities, protests and COVID-19. Get up and do something! Help out already, now!!!"

"Not much in the way of loot, but we got a ton of store credit."

One way only.

'Let's go and make some unfunded spending committments.'

Man on a unicycle trying to guard credit from nasty 'Bankruptcy'.

When it comes to health issues, I'd rather listen to a physician than a spin doctor.

'While these products may not result in weight loss, they will result in credibility loss.'

"I know it's not in our nature, but we really gotta stop charging everything."

'I always feel at the end of the day I could've taken credit for more.'

'The good news is we were able to remove the homework from his stomach. The bad news is, your kid can't write worth a damn.'

'Thanks, I just know that I'll never be able to repay your kindness . . .'

"Somebody in Boise needs my help. Run a credit check."

"I don't see much borrowing on your credit report but I do see a lot of begging and stealing."

'Of course I have unpaid loans, what other kind is there?'

"I avoid the 3 'Bs' when I'm dieting - boxes, buckets and bags."

'Can you believe this bank...? Yesterday they refuse me a loan, today they send me a leaflet for a loan.'

"Does this mean my loan has not been approved?"

Your credit score is hahahahahahahah.....

'Are you kidding, you credit's better than ours.'

'Okay! Okay! Maybe we do have a global warming problem.'

'Good news! Some guy stole my identity online. Now he's saddled with my bad credit rating.'

'To make matter worse, our combined weight is higher than our credit score.'

"I'd like to lose 35%of me!"

'You're ambitious I see!'

'A bank manager will always lend you money if you can prove you don't need it!'

'I want to borrow 1% of that 700 billion.'

Personal Calorie Counter

Fired Editorial Cartoonists

'I tried for a new lease on life, but I got a lousy credit report.'

A look into the future?!