Credit Score Crusher Gifts

'Every time I get paid my creditors form a flash mob.'

'Okay, ladies! We're not just going to burn those calories, we're going to drown them!'

'Credit being what it is, I'm sure you won't mind if we see your 200,000 cattle first...'

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

'I'm partially passing my Meteorology course.'

'Thanks, I just know that I'll never be able to repay your kindness . . .'

loan

"Does this mean my loan has not been approved?"

'As your banker, I feel I should tell you, the more enlightened you become the more of a credit risk you become.'

AL'S GYM, 'We're going to make a new man of you!' 'Will he have new credit cards?'

Tonight's Lecture: Your share of the national debt. That explains my credit rating.

"He leaves behind a loving wife, two beautiful children and a credit score of 780."

'Are you kidding, you credit's better than ours.'

'Will that be on your store charge?'

'Good news! Some guy stole my identity online. Now he's saddled with my bad credit rating.'

"We've been pre-disapproved for another loan."

'A bank manager will always lend you money if you can prove you don't need it!'

'A bit gritty about the collar, but hey, what the heck, I'll take it!'

'I just need enough money to get out of debt.'

"So, we've processed your loan application and I'm afraid that it doesn't look too promising!"

'We found the trouble Mr. Spencer. Your credit is no good!'

A look into the future?!

"We ran your credit rating and came up with a negative number."

Mort, you owe $856 on your tab. What are you talking about?! I pay my tab every month! Yes, but you've never paid the finance charge. It was clearly written on the back of the tab receipt that there's a 29.9% finance charge. I don't have that kind of money! I refuse to pay it! You can pay your finance charge in installments, but I'll have to add a finance charge. I'm calling congress!

Cupid views his online credit rating.

"Well, thanks anyway for sharing your financial plight with us."

'Oh yeah?! Well, my dad's credit score is better than your dad's!'

'Your assets speak for themselves. They say 'no'.'

"He's extremely intelligent. Right now he's fetching your credit score."

"You have a rare situation known as 'excellent credit' and I don't know how to deal with it."

'You have just been put on hold indefintely until you get a decent paying job.'

'Good news! Some guy stole my identity online. Now he's saddled with my bad credit rating.'

On Thursday, I ingested 6,200 calories. On Friday, I spent $1,800 at the mall. Binge and splurge.

'Aren't you afraid of inaccuracies on your credit report?'

'Your credit rating is a bit low but we can still offer you a loan. Do you have a problem with being fitted for an electronic ankle bracelet?'