Credit Cruncher Gifts

'I just need enough money to get out of debt.'

'A bit gritty about the collar, but hey, what the heck, I'll take it!'

'Will that be on your store charge?'

Wife Gone To The Sales With ?250 Credit Card.

You don't ask me how I'm going to spend it, and I won't ask how you came by it.

'How much do you want?'

loan

"We ran your credit rating and came up with a negative number."

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

Or as I prefer to call it, the 'feel-good' factor.

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

"Although technically it's a profit and loss statement, the narrative is admittedly rather one-sided."

Entering the Business Community: Assets/Liabilities

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

'Actually, accounting is an exact science.'

Girl does mathematical equation. Man says 'Tut! Teenagers today and their problems ...'

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

Gerry, there are more accurate ways of balancing the petty cash.

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

Pi Ala Mode.

Sales chart is buildings in background.

"Thank you for that summation of the charts."

'I'll give you a clue. The answer is a number, not a fruit.'

'Let's just wait here until the federal stimulus returns.'