Credential Collector Pillows

"It's translated from French, so where it says 'Harvard Business School' it may mean 'jail.'"

"All staff are equal...but some are more equal than others!"

"To what do I owe this honor?"

"We normally require a high school diploma, but I guess I'll let it go since you have this honorary doctorate from Cornell."

"I know you went to Harvard, but stop asking to see my resume."

WHEW!

"Tell me about the bar codes and sales prices on the back of your certification diplomas."

"Make a lot of money."

Interdisciplinary studies.

A boy is sat at a desk, with five plaques implying different qualifications he has earned from using social media.

'So you have a PhD, big deal, everyone working here has one! The question is, what can you really do?'

'Ok, give me your username & password one more time.'

'He's just come back from another management training course.'

"Knowing all the weather rock lore doesn't really count toward the weather badge."

"Donald, the dog wants to get back in."

A complimentary biscuit

"I wonder if this will count for wood carving badge?"

Vampire laying in his coffin wearing a Smiley badge.

'We're confident that morale dips resulting from the recent salary cuts will be offset by the distribution of these smiley face badges to all affected employees.'

'Well, do you want to sign up or not?' - 'Um...yes and no.'

"And, should you ever lose the key to the city, I hid another one here."

'Is this what you're looking for?'

'This one's for clearing my browser history. This one's for emptying my cache. This one's...'

'What do you mean you lost the keys?'

'I've discovered that the rings around Saturn are composed of lost keys, socks and grocery lists.'

"At first I was homesick....now I'll probably be campsick for awhile!"

'What do you mean you've misplace the keys?'

Beer Sergeant.

Florida Golf.

Time traveller of the year, 3173, A.D.

"I'm sorry your password needs to include upper & lower case letters & at least one number."

"Here it is -- my E-school diploma coming off the printer!"

'The LACK of a resume indicates that I don't need one.'

"Isn't that cute? He's reading his diplomas again."

'Actually, we're members of a mountain climbing club named for sir Edmund Hillary.'