Certificate Collector Pillows

"Isn't that cute? He's reading his diplomas again."

"Make a lot of money."

"Sorry, go on, I was just distracted for a moment by all my qualifications."

'Thanks, I started collecting diplomas when I was seven.'

'What makes you think you're so smart?'

'Impressive certificate. Thanks, that's for the 100 metres backstroke.'

As a home-schooled student, Renee found it tougher and tougher to muster any genuine surprise.

Time traveller of the year, 3173, A.D.

World's Best Dad

"I just got me 'git 'er done' certificate!!!"

'Congratulations, you graduated.'

Thank you bubbles

"I don't think the guy with the business-card cannon has ever been to an actual networking event,"

'So you have a PhD, big deal, everyone working here has one! The question is, what can you really do?'

'We would like to buy three rings... Engagement, wedding and teething!'

"Just toot my horn and I'll be there."

"Blast, you've cleaned me out again!" Grey squirrels out competing red squirrel for food.

'I chose my field on what would put the most impressive initials after my name.'

Philosopher trading cards.

"It's translated from French, so where it says 'Harvard Business School' it may mean 'jail.'"

The Card Flinger

'Whoa! This was supposed to be an easy merit badge!'

'You shouldn't have.'

"Knowing all the weather rock lore doesn't really count toward the weather badge."

'It's my wedding ring: My wife insists I wear it here to stop me flirting with other females...'

Greeting card section: 'thank you' and 'you're welcome'.

The Boss.

J.P.Hensmore Superintendent AKA Head Honcho, The Big Guy,The Man, Numero Uno and The Big Cheese.

'look at my new business cards! The old ones weren't big enough for all my information.'

"I wonder if this will count for wood carving badge?"

Vampire laying in his coffin wearing a Smiley badge.

'I'm a football referee - I'll have a box of red and a box of yellow.'

Card shark

Red Card - Gold Card.

"Please refrain from throwing business cards."