Document Collector Pillows

Constitution of the United States (First Draft)

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

"Make a lot of money."

'It's one of these new phones that takes photographs.'

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

Photos of Queen Elizabeth II

"Oh great, the printer is down."

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

Scene from 'Night of the Koala'

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

'A is for Arse.'

"There are those who write books to be read and other who write novels for bookshelves."

DVD extras - the making of the boxed set.

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

Bearded Leftie.

"The arms reduction talks are off to a good start -so far, we've agreed to ban pebbles."

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

"I have an app for that."

Memoirs: Fiction/Non Fiction.

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

You trip on it, you buy it.

"No, I don't think I have a book in me. I think I have a chicken in me."

'I hope this DVD has some worthwhile in-front-of-the-scenes content.'

Home Sweet Second Home.

Benjamin Bunny re-writes Beatrix Potter

Cut out and keep your own Jane Austen.

Pile of books for sale with sign: Expired Fifteen-Minutes-of-Fame Books.

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

"I picked up an exorcize DVD by mistake."

'Be careful! She loves to curl up by the fire with a good author!'