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Constitution of the United States (First Draft)

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

"Make a lot of money."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

'It's one of these new phones that takes photographs.'

Photos of Queen Elizabeth II

"Oh great, the printer is down."

Scene from 'Night of the Koala'

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

Kanya West Inspired Children Books.

'A is for Arse.'

'Breaking Bad' Box Set Addiction.

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

"There are those who write books to be read and other who write novels for bookshelves."

DVD extras - the making of the boxed set.

Bearded Leftie.

"The arms reduction talks are off to a good start -so far, we've agreed to ban pebbles."

'Once upon a time there was a really lousy editor name Sue. Sue was lazy and stupid, so she was fired, and her boss lived happily ever after. The end.'

"I have an app for that."

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

Are your parents here? Spring play! I can't tell.

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

Memoirs: Fiction/Non Fiction.

Home Sweet Second Home.

"No, I don't think I have a book in me. I think I have a chicken in me."

Cut out and keep your own Jane Austen.

You trip on it, you buy it.

'I hope this DVD has some worthwhile in-front-of-the-scenes content.'

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

Benjamin Bunny re-writes Beatrix Potter

Pile of books for sale with sign: Expired Fifteen-Minutes-of-Fame Books.

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

'Be careful! She loves to curl up by the fire with a good author!'