Credential Collector T-Shirts

"It's translated from French, so where it says 'Harvard Business School' it may mean 'jail.'"

"All staff are equal...but some are more equal than others!"

"To what do I owe this honor?"

It's a Millennial Generation Life off!

"We normally require a high school diploma, but I guess I'll let it go since you have this honorary doctorate from Cornell."

"I know you went to Harvard, but stop asking to see my resume."

WHEW!

"Tell me about the bar codes and sales prices on the back of your certification diplomas."

"Make a lot of money."

Interdisciplinary studies.

A boy is sat at a desk, with five plaques implying different qualifications he has earned from using social media.

'So you have a PhD, big deal, everyone working here has one! The question is, what can you really do?'

Personnel. I've heard of "magna cum laude" and "summa cum laude," but I've never heard of a person graduating "persona non grata." (Published originally on June 3, 1981.)

Casino. Keno. $$$. Win. Cashier. He sure wins a lot! He's "Keno Savvy."

'Whoa! This was supposed to be an easy merit badge!'

'Ok, give me your username & password one more time.'

"Knowing all the weather rock lore doesn't really count toward the weather badge."

"Donald, the dog wants to get back in."

'He's just come back from another management training course.'

Vampire laying in his coffin wearing a Smiley badge.

"I wonder if this will count for wood carving badge?"

A complimentary biscuit

'We're confident that morale dips resulting from the recent salary cuts will be offset by the distribution of these smiley face badges to all affected employees.'

'Well, do you want to sign up or not?' - 'Um...yes and no.'

"And, should you ever lose the key to the city, I hid another one here."

'I've discovered that the rings around Saturn are composed of lost keys, socks and grocery lists.'

'This one's for clearing my browser history. This one's for emptying my cache. This one's...'

"Keep up the good work and there'll probably be a nice promotion in it for me."

Beer Sergeant.

Florida Golf.

'What do you mean you lost the keys?'

'Is this what you're looking for?'

"At first I was homesick....now I'll probably be campsick for awhile!"

'What do you mean you've misplace the keys?'

Time traveller of the year, 3173, A.D.