Crash Course Aficionado Gifts

"The brakes don't work."

"Sarah's grades are excellent. She got A+ in 'Yogi Berra: Philosopher or Fall Guy?,' A in 'Dollars and Scents: An Analysis of Post-Vietnam Perfume Advertising,' A in 'The Final Four as Last Judgment: The N.C.A.A. Tournament from a Religious Perspective,'

'Time to buy.'

'That's what I like about you Roberts, you're not afraid to get out there and take a risk.'

Disraeli's Reform Bill Passes the Committee Stage

"I've got a wall I need to get to, officer."

'Okay - Let's crash that bad boy.'

'The new intelligent dummies aren't working out. They've figured out there's a break!'

"Lady here wants to put £5 on Cambridge 'Each way'!"

'I'm doing this course on, the importance of moderation.'

'The blooming thing took a wrong turn off the course.'

Alien crash test dummy emerges from downed UFO.

The horses are off and "Movie Star" take the lead. Here comes "Freight Train" on the rail. Around the bend and down the stretch "Yoge Pose" takes the lead. It might be "Short Circuit" at the wire. No! The winner is "Selfie" in a photo finish!

"I'll need a three iron."

'Are you sure we're on the right track?'

Crash Test Dummy Jokes that Get Old Fast. Oh, no! Somebody cut the brakes! Every single time.

"Sir, I'm afraid there's no easy way to say this..."

Finish Annual IOK Grunion Run

"An ounce of prevention." "This way we don't need to raise as much."

Cheapskate b*****d told me he'd laid on a box for me to watch the races.

Tour de France champ Hendrik 'Joop' Zoetemelk

'I'm bringing it into the pit! The DVD player conked out in the middle of 'Little Miss Sunshine'.'

Test dummies in car, "Oh my god dave, look out for that wall!"

"How do you put the airbag back in the car?"

Methuselah shoots his age.

'Tell me the truth,Rodney - you've moved the hole haven't you!'

race car drivers.

'Bad news: It's lemon juice!'

Ostriches

"I'd like 40 kilos of pain killers, please."

Clancy:Breaking Even at the Races

'We have a new tribe member everyone. We will call him'Crashes-His-Volvo.'

Formula One snail

Counting sheep hurdling.

"If he was holding up play, we'd call it 'justified homicide'"