Assault Course Enthusiast Gifts

'Didn't I tell you it would be a mistake to allow mixed competition?'

The first car accident.

"Sarah's grades are excellent. She got A+ in 'Yogi Berra: Philosopher or Fall Guy?,' A in 'Dollars and Scents: An Analysis of Post-Vietnam Perfume Advertising,' A in 'The Final Four as Last Judgment: The N.C.A.A. Tournament from a Religious Perspective,'

'I'm wrapping it tightly to keep the ankle from swelling.'

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Disraeli's Reform Bill Passes the Committee Stage

The hall of bad ideas.

A man with a walking frame breaks a wheel and hitches a ride with a man on a mobility scooter.

St John's ambulance member "I prefer rugby myself, more blood shed"

'Whenever Ralph finds a golf ball he puts it in the basement.'

'I'm doing this course on, the importance of moderation.'

'Very funny!'

'I like to stay connected 247.'

'I think this fishing injury is more serious than you're letting on!'

"You've been traded to the Red Sox for an outfielder with a broken arm."

"I'll need a three iron."

'I wasn't going to miss our game just because my wife landed me with junior. Besides, he's a great caddie.'

"I understand you were involved in a golf mishap this morning!"

'How many shots did you have at the 19th hole?'

Too many beers at lunch?

"The brakes don't work."

'You must address the ball properly first.'

'Paramedic' 'Doctor' 'Clean underpants man'

Competition disappears. You'll have the field to yourself!

Man golfing in water hazard with shark.

"That's chemical law for you. No matter how minor the damage claim, our fee is always major."

"Somewhere we must have strayed off the course."

'Oh, no -- not again!'

Golfer on Ski Lift.

"If he was holding up play, we'd call it 'justified homicide'"

'I recommend avoiding THAT sand trap in particular.'

"Good shot from there Dad, but if I hadn't stopped it, you would have lost the ball down the hole!"

"Did you make all these 911 calls?"