Quirky Course Enthusiast Gifts

"Sarah's grades are excellent. She got A+ in 'Yogi Berra: Philosopher or Fall Guy?,' A in 'Dollars and Scents: An Analysis of Post-Vietnam Perfume Advertising,' A in 'The Final Four as Last Judgment: The N.C.A.A. Tournament from a Religious Perspective,'

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

Disraeli's Reform Bill Passes the Committee Stage

Gopher underground hit by golf tee.

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

"Eric, this is your father, mister Trump." "You must have the wrong number. I'm Mortimer Park."

'I'm doing this course on, the importance of moderation.'

'I like to stay connected 247.'

'Whenever Ralph finds a golf ball he puts it in the basement.'

'I wasn't going to miss our game just because my wife landed me with junior. Besides, he's a great caddie.'

A Lovely Afternoon of Crazy Golf

'How many shots did you have at the 19th hole?'

Too many beers at lunch?

"I'd rather be golfing...and I am."

Red Indian carrying a baby in golf bag.

"The brakes don't work."

'You must address the ball properly first.'

Methuselah shoots his age.

'Tell me the truth,Rodney - you've moved the hole haven't you!'

'Keep playing like that and you'll strike oil!'

'As soon as the ball reaches the green, I swoop down and steal it: I just love the look on their faces!'

Tiger Woods

"Fore!"

'The first Santa to consume one thousand warm beers and one thousand pieces of fruit cake without barfing wins the Santa apprenticeship!'

'I made a hole in one, just like you Tiger!'

Man golfing in water hazard with shark.

Using Science In Fashion Design

"Somewhere we must have strayed off the course."

'Don't be a fool, Kevin! How do you know that he's a certified teaching pro?'

'I don't have a problem with you spending $1,500 on golf clubs, so you shouldn't complain about my spending $100,000 on a sports car.'

Golfer on Ski Lift.

"If he was holding up play, we'd call it 'justified homicide'"