Crash Enthusiast Gifts

'You've been in many accidents so we'll have to rate you higher for an auto insurance policy.'

'I won that in a demolition derby.'

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

Dog Dreams

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

'You're right. Our old safety files have become a safety concern.'

"Could you all please pay attention while I go through the emergency procedure. . ."

On the brink.

Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

"Helmet, check. Harness, check. Knee and elbow pads, check. You may now push the swing."

'Time to buy.'

Caution signs.

Job Safety - Pumpkin.

Mother hen driving with 'Eggs on Board' sign.

Health and safety notice falling on builder.

Daddy showed me why I should always wear my bicycle helmet!

'News headline: Britain unsafe to bring up young children.'

"I think I found a location for our vacation."

"Rescue someone; rescue yourself"

"Now that's a great number if you want to be protected from the entire environment."

Dogs Aren't/Are Just For Christmas

'Yeah, the job's got great benefits, but mainly I like the safe work environment.'

'That's what I like about you Roberts, you're not afraid to get out there and take a risk.'

'Not without your helmet, you're not!'

'Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to our new 'health and safety' officer.'

'My mum drives me to school. She says it isn't safe to walk with all the cars.'

Lab safety Rule No. 1

Hunters wait at the bottom of a ski jump ramp.

"The penicillin looks good."

'Who stuck corks on all the cursors?'