Crash Connoisseur Gifts

'The new intelligent dummies aren't working out. They've figured out there's a break!'

'Time to buy.'

'Boy, the fish are really biting today, aren't they, Fred?'

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

'Call the boss! We're in trouble!'

"No party - it's for testing the atom smasher."

Spontaneous Kombucha

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

'Just a couple more and we'll call it a day.'

"This car is very fast and very expensive. Just how bad is your midlife crisis?"

I want a car that says 'I've arrived' but didn't use too much gas getting there.

Meowlzebub

'I don't know. It's too busy.'

The hall of bad ideas.

"Rob is a functioning train wreck."

Man frozen in portrait pose.

allovertheplace.com

Moliere

'Okay - Let's crash that bad boy.'

C Day Lewis.

Bleak House

'You're allowed to pick up the ball before it stops rolling, you know.'

Charles Dickens.

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Hunting - No. XII

The Hybrid

Man in bookstore is looking at a large section of books devoted to stock market crash predictions.

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

Revolving Doors Ltd. - 'He's in, out, in, out ...'

'Trouble cutting pickled onions.'

'Could you put a little more effort into that 'IN' box of yours?'

Spot the Higgs Boson competition

Euro crisis: abandon ship.

"I want one that's going to fall apart. . ."

Big deal! If you were smart, you'd have waited for the price of gold to go up. Everyone's a critic.

Goldfish bowl leaking into the TV screen.