Cow Enthusiast Gifts

"She's so Jersey."

"I sometimes wonder if I should have invested so much in the one cow."

'Been really busy, Doctor?'

'It has nothing to do with you, Bessie. It's just that I'm lactose intolerant.'

"Yes, that's very clever Julie. But can we stick to the basics?"

"I don't care if it's plant-based, you're creeping everyone out."

Agoraphobic cows.

'The good news is that you don't have mad cows disease. The bad news is that you're lactose intolerant.'

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

'I'm looking forward to Spring: I'm sick and tired of hay, I want fresh grass!'

Someone's going to be disappointed!

'So help me Francine, if he doesn't warm his hands this time, there'll be trouble!'

'You didn't do well in the limbo competition then?'

"No, there's nothing wrong with her. Daisy here has been bred only to produce skimmed milk."

"Perhaps it would be easier using mice?"

'Stop playing hard to get!'

Cows For Celebration

"That's why you need to chew your food!" (cow deposited a hay bale).

'Mr Kilgore, I have reason to believe your lactose intolerance is psychological.'

'You're stampeding yourself! You're stampeding yourself!'

'I'm going to turn around count to ten, when I turn back I expect all my undergarments back on the line!'

'Well, nobody's perfect.'

"You look like you're dragging a little today." "How could you tell?"

Moo-Magrams Exams

'I can't get to the phone right now...I'M A COW!'

"I feel so cheap."

'Ok..Ok...I'm putting the lawnmower back in the shed!'

WRONG! A veterinary school failure.

"I'm not sure what we're seeing but I think it's some kind of antique milking machine."

Milk For Sale!! Low Prices!! No Middlemen!

'I can take nonsense, but not udder nonsense.'

The Animal Researcher Reports...'I've been watching this herd of cattle for seven years, and to be frank, I haven't seen them do anything yet!'

Two cows in military dress looking at a map table with a cow-design.

"By the way, I'm taking off the first two weeks in August."

'Rectal palpation, hell! I lost my thermometer!'