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"She's so Jersey."

"I sometimes wonder if I should have invested so much in the one cow."

'It has nothing to do with you, Bessie. It's just that I'm lactose intolerant.'

'Been really busy, Doctor?'

"Yes, that's very clever Julie. But can we stick to the basics?"

"I don't care if it's plant-based, you're creeping everyone out."

Agoraphobic cows.

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

Someone's going to be disappointed!

'I'm looking forward to Spring: I'm sick and tired of hay, I want fresh grass!'

'So help me Francine, if he doesn't warm his hands this time, there'll be trouble!'

'You didn't do well in the limbo competition then?'

'Stop playing hard to get!'

Cows For Celebration

'Mr Kilgore, I have reason to believe your lactose intolerance is psychological.'

"That's why you need to chew your food!" (cow deposited a hay bale).

"No, there's nothing wrong with her. Daisy here has been bred only to produce skimmed milk."

"Perhaps it would be easier using mice?"

Two cows in military dress looking at a map table with a cow-design.

"By the way, I'm taking off the first two weeks in August."

'I can't get to the phone right now...I'M A COW!'

The Animal Researcher Reports...'I've been watching this herd of cattle for seven years, and to be frank, I haven't seen them do anything yet!'

'I can take nonsense, but not udder nonsense.'

WRONG! A veterinary school failure.

'I'm going to turn around count to ten, when I turn back I expect all my undergarments back on the line!'

"That was definitely mine."

'Ok..Ok...I'm putting the lawnmower back in the shed!'

There goes Farmer Ceutical.

"I'm not sure what we're seeing but I think it's some kind of antique milking machine."

'You're stampeding yourself! You're stampeding yourself!'

Milk For Sale!! Low Prices!! No Middlemen!

'Rectal palpation, hell! I lost my thermometer!'

'Well, nobody's perfect.'

How Cows Psych Themselves Up

'If you must know, I'm applying to become a hamster!'