Courtship Analyst T-Shirts

The Giant Guardsman Chapters IX and x.

"Check it out! In nature, females are in charge...they select their mates!"

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

"Let's do it, let's fall in love!"

"I'll give you my unconditional love - on one condition."

"I used to know my wife's fondest dreams and desires, but now I leave that to Google."

"Will the role of wife call for any nudity?"

'First date with a logician - These venn Diagrams will save us a lot of time. We'll see where you fit in, where I fit in, and if any of it overlaps'

Deconstructionist girlfriend

"Estoy aqui abajo!" ( I'm down here!)

"I love it when you quote my blog back to me."

"Pretty Maiden where art thou?"

"I was quite a successful writer once...what sort of books are you interested in?"

'I'm normally a leg man, but in your case.'

"If you think you've earned this by consistently retweeting my tweets -- you're right."

Romantic knight.

"I wouldn’t go so far as to call Darren here an ‘imaginary friend’—he’s more of an imaginary acquaintance."

"Only one Valentines card? Still could have been a lot worse!"

The Night is Young and you're so beautiful!

Second dates are trickier. They ask the same questions as on the first date, looking for inconsistencies.

"Rick, here, is totally passive, and you always have to be in control, so I thought you might like each other."

'My wife ran off with my best friend...I really miss him.'

Young Accountants in Love: 'I didn't reach the same conclusion, Phil. In fact, my preliminary figures indicate we just can't go on meeting like this!'

"Hitting me on the head with your club and dragging me by my hair back to the cave is not my idea of seduction."

Jung and in Love

"He wants to know if I'm alone."

"My wife finds it natural to nag, so if you hear that I died of natural causes, you'll know why."

"I could see my mating dance had caught her eye, so I put more energy into it, but I ended up sweaty and out of breath: she lost interest then. . ."

He'd often look back and wonder what went wrong. She'd catch him sometimes and call the police.

'Your father and I would rather you didn't go out tonight,Jessica dear!'

"I was studying the dog's behaviour and had an epiphany! The more affection I fake, the more benefit I get. It's life transforming..."

"My wife is all in the eye of the beholder."