Courtship Observer T-Shirts

"I could see my mating dance had caught her eye, so I put more energy into it, but I ended up sweaty and out of breath: she lost interest then. . ."

"Check it out! In nature, females are in charge...they select their mates!"

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

'When he said it would be 'me and him against the world' I had no idea everyone was already mad at him.'

Updated fairy tales - "Cinderella." Dating Service. It's not often we get a client looking for a specific shoe size.

"Estoy aqui abajo!" ( I'm down here!)

'You were right. We should have gotten a lap dog.'

'Gosh, Cindylou, you can't judge a guy solely on how he eats spaghetti!'

"If I could choose any age I'd be forty-two again. You were hot when I was forty-two."

The Giant Guardsman Chapters IX and x.

"Pretty Maiden where art thou?"

'I know you like romantic things, so I built us this love-nest. Stuck together with my own spit.'

'I admire your persistence, Melvin, but I'm in love with another woman.'

'Good morning Miss...'

'I didn't know our relationship was SUPPOSED to be going anywhere.'

The Night is Young and you're so beautiful!

'Frankly, don't bother fighting over me: I don't fancy either of you...'

"I was quite a successful writer once...what sort of books are you interested in?"

"You're grinding your teeth again."

"If they say 'Rubensesque' in their profile, they mean they're a Botero."

Wildlife Refuge

"Believe me, Alice, you didn't miss a thing. It wasn't even a party—it was a positioning event."

"To the most beautiful girl in the world... Happy Valentine's Day!"

Nerd night out.

"See anything you fancy?"

'It will never work - there's too much difference in our metamorphosis.'

"your dad doesn't trust me does he?"

'Hi, I'm Sheldon, and I want to speak to you about perception management!'

"I've been to all his weddings."

'Yes, I need to move: I'm starting to have a reputation on the bachelor scene here...'

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're just getting grumpier.'

Traumatized by the event, Goldilocks was never able to have a relationship with a hairy man: 'EEK!': 'This is my last blind date!'

'Where do I go to forget about men?'

"Doc, I'm secretly worried if you improve my girlfriend's vision prescription she'll dump me when she gets her new glasses!"

"Don't play innocent with me lucky. . . I saw you sniffing around that hussy Irish setter!"