Dating Analyst T-Shirts

'I haven't dated that many people. Why do you ask?'

"Rick, here, is totally passive, and you always have to be in control, so I thought you might like each other."

This had better be important. Hillary Clinton has got me thinking, Darlene. For eight years, she's been teasing us about whether she'll run for president. Maybe you've just been teasing me about us all these years. First of all, that's a sexist way to speak about Hillary Clinton. Secondly, I haven't been teasing you, Rudy. I just don't like you like that!!!! So you're saying I've got a chance?

I drink to forget. Is that just for things in the past, or does it cover mistakes you might make later tonight?

It's hard to choose, isn't it? Yes, it is ... I can't decide if I should call the police or simply alert the bouncer.

'Be honest - is he the one or just another beta version?'

'Bet she's turned on by take charge guys.'

'Your father and I would rather you didn't go out tonight,Jessica dear!'

Young Accountants in Love: 'I didn't reach the same conclusion, Phil. In fact, my preliminary figures indicate we just can't go on meeting like this!'

For Bob, every date was a limited edition

"My problem is, I put women under a pedestal."

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

"Check it out! In nature, females are in charge...they select their mates!"

Boyfriend of the Month.

"How do you love me. Count the ways!"

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

"Will the role of wife call for any nudity?"

"I'm not ready to put you on my favorites contact list, but I will add you to a group text."

"I used to know my wife's fondest dreams and desires, but now I leave that to Google."

The Stages of Wine

"I'll give you my unconditional love - on one condition."

'First date with a logician - These venn Diagrams will save us a lot of time. We'll see where you fit in, where I fit in, and if any of it overlaps'

Deconstructionist girlfriend

'My outer self loves your inner self, but my inner self can't stand your outer self.'

"I love it when you quote my blog back to me."

'Standing on tiptoe waving your claw may attract a crab, but it certainly doesn't woo me.'

Lover's leap and Infatuation leap.

"Surely two people as intelligent as we are can work out some method of falling in love."

"I've had my eye on you for some time"

'Love is a subconscious recognition of matching neuroses.'

'If you want to get anywhere with girls, you gotta PRETEND to like bunnies, ponies, and kittens.'

'Wow!... Look at the personality on her!'

"Not so fast, Casanova! I want to get to know a man and his intentions better before I allow him to accompany me to the cinema!"