Modern Love Analyst T-Shirts

"Let's do it, let's fall in love."

"Hey, you're the one who wanted a three-way."

"Whaddaya say we skip the introductions, marriage, kids, and you just cut me a check right now?"

Cupid with Gun

'We met, dated, got engaged, married, broke up, reconciled and divorced - all online.'

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

Crap from the future.

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"

"How do you love me. Count the ways!"

Modern Life Blues

'That was a flagrant misconduct of the left hand.'

"Will the role of wife call for any nudity?"

Tasty.

"I'll give you my unconditional love - on one condition."

'First date with a logician - These venn Diagrams will save us a lot of time. We'll see where you fit in, where I fit in, and if any of it overlaps'

Deconstructionist girlfriend

"Do you mind if I not listen while you talk?"

'My outer self loves your inner self, but my inner self can't stand your outer self.'

'Unlike Wall Street, with its strict rules regulating insider trading, 'Love Street' remains un-regulated, and I'm pleases to let you know now, before the official announcement, that the position of Rolf Fusco's girlfriend is open.'

"I love it when you quote my blog back to me."

John McWit, Divorce Lawyer & Celibate,

"Very funny."

'Sharing the petrol costs didn't bother me, but I resent having to pay half for the condoms!'

"Surely two people as intelligent as we are can work out some method of falling in love."

'Love is a subconscious recognition of matching neuroses.'

"We even tried cyber sex, but the line was always busy."

Man looking at a vending machine with a hand sticking out of it and a sign that reads "Put'er there buddy".

Two ATMs sit side by side; one is labeled "Cash" while the other is labeled "Power".

"Honey, I'm home."

"I gave up on finding Mr. Right and settled for Mr. Chocolate!"

"I had a hell a time choosing which wine went with your unrealistic expectation of me."

"I hate her snoring, especially during sex."

"What do you mean you want to slow things down?"