Modern Love Critic T-Shirts

'Real Sex is consensual non-cyber + includes conversation.'

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

Daily Routine

Early Man Late Man

"I've got something in what used to be a decrepit, run-down, unfashionable area."

"I love it when you quote my blog back to me."

"Sometime I find it hard to believe that we found each other through regular channels."

'I can remember when paranoia was unusual.'

"...as they may share in our joy.", "For we are all as one."

"We even tried cyber sex, but the line was always busy."

Man calling Phone Privacy Centre

'It's not gifts I want, but someone who listens.'

Spark Notes Wedding Vows

"A guy can fall in love with a smile, then make the mistake of marrying the whole girl."

Medical Bracelet

"I medicate first and ask questions later."

A beach has meters.

"And he's caring and honest and gentle..." "I'd do her."

'Darling what will you give me for this ring?'

"You're wonderful, Kimberly, and I want to be married, but I'm looking for a complete unknown."

"If you think you've earned this by consistently retweeting my tweets -- you're right."

'I usually don't do online dating.'

"Power! Power!"

Kingdom of Heaven- Exact Change Only

'Will you marry me, Miss?'

"I forgot to call in dead."

'Love? You're talking about LOVE?? Barry - you're here just because I'm too busy to keep a dog!'

"Look, a shooting star- let's critique it!"