Dating Dynamics Analyst T-Shirts

'I'm normally a leg man, but in your case.'

"Nothing against you, Whonk, but Oog is a real stand-up guy."

'When he said it would be 'me and him against the world' I had no idea everyone was already mad at him.'

"Why don't you move over here, Mr. Lowery, where you'll be closer to everything."

"I'm not ready to put you on my favorites contact list, but I will add you to a group text."

"My wife and I handle our own finances. I'm an accountant and she's a grief counselor."

"It's funny how people suddenly come out of the woodwork when they know you're taken."

(Phil Hanson and the Philettes)

'Gosh, Cindylou, you can't judge a guy solely on how he eats spaghetti!'

'Women, can't live with 'em, can't live without em.'

'But enough about me... let's talk about you. Do you prefer plain or ribbed condoms?'

Your numerous prescriptions really have improved my love life. I'm dating my pharmacist.

'I tried to get him to reinvent himself, but he said he couldn't get a patent.'

Nerd night out.

Young Accountants in Love: 'I didn't reach the same conclusion, Phil. In fact, my preliminary figures indicate we just can't go on meeting like this!'

"Rick, here, is totally passive, and you always have to be in control, so I thought you might like each other."

'Hi, I'm Sheldon, and I want to speak to you about perception management!'

'Mismatched Mantras'

'Your father and I would rather you didn't go out tonight,Jessica dear!'

"Before I ask you out. . . you're not a murderer, are you?"

'He's a nice guy, but he doesn't bite, if you know what I mean.'

'Harold doesn't have an ego problem. It doesn't bother him that he's inferior to me in every way.'

"If you won't let me pay for dinner, at least let me pay for sex later."

"Is there any insanity in the family?"

'Ms. Parker, who undercooked these numbers?'

'Got any women repellent?'

"I noticed you looking at me."

'Can he call you back? He's rehearsing his apology!'

"I used to have a Paul Newman role in our marriage, but now I'm taking the Harry Dean Stanton part."

"I read your report with interest, Giles, and I think we're in a position to agree a date/"

'Y'know, those mood rings are pretty accurate!'