Courtroom Canine Gifts

"It's non-negotiable."

"The circus was good but as 'Jo Jo, the dogged faced attorney', I'm making a killing."

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

"Bailiff."

"I'm sorry, sir, but I've got to ask you another question. I heard someone in the courtroom shout out the correct answer."

"I'll tell you, mock jury duty beats cancer testing."

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

"Better that a hundred guilty men go free than one innocent man be convicted, right?"

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

"Another slander suit!"

"Recess is over, Your Honor."

'Let's try it again. And this time, don't cross your fingers.'

'I object, Your Honor! Hearsay evidence!'

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

"'If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all' doesn't work with a grand jury."

Arrogant junior barrister

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, dummy!'

So you'd like to be a lawyer...we require honest, genuine people, who are prepared to...learn how to fake sincerity.

'Hmmm...It is: innocent until proven guilty? Or is it: guilty until proven innocent?'

''Not guilty'? -- oh, in denial, are we?'

"Objections overruled...I also think the defendent looks extremly dodgy"

'I've never sued anyone but I bet I'll be good at it.'

Robert Macaire as a Barrister

"Guilty! I hope you're not expecting any positive feedback."

'I've been charged with evading jury duty.'

Judges alarm clock: 'beep beep, all rise!'

'I seem to have brought the wrong brief case, your honor.'

Pinocchio and Partners Lawyers.

"You can lie to the prosecutor but don't ever lie to your co-conspirators."

"Oops! My mistake, that was your projected trial load for this year, not this month."

"He's doing it again, your honor!"