Canine Courtroom Jester Gifts

"Not guilty, because puppies do these things."

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

'Court's in recess!'

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

'How about a game of cards?'

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

'Pass it to Dewey! He's got himself into some kind of rhythm!!'

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

'Wait!... I don't want to take Brady out right now. He's just getting into rhythm.'

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

"I say we move on to dessert."

A baby in court

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

'Court is in recess for one hour. Everyone convene on the playground and we will choose sides for dodgeball!'

'They named special prosecutors to investigate each other.'

Portrait of a Serial Attorney.

"Just one more outburst and I can have this chicken tenderized."

The Scones-Monkey Trial. I, Judge Sadie, am prepared to rule. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Intelligent design versus evolution. Borrrinnng. That is my legal finding. Appeal. Will all bipeds please rise.

Justice 4 Ron

"Your Honor, prior to sentencing, if it please the court, I'd like to make just a few brief remarks about pâte brisée."

Basketball.

"Another slander suit!"

'Oh, he's been a bad dog all right - why else would he lawyer up?'

'Captain, we're going to have to ask you to stop spiking the ball.'

'That will be 100 hours of community service in some other community.'

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

'The score is tied and we've only got a 20-second timeout, so we've gotta be quick. ... I'm 'X'. Who wants to be 'O'?'

'It's all just an unfortunate misunderstanding, Your Honor, it was 'Talk Like a Pirate' day, and,,,,'

'Radford, go in for Bloom. ... Uh-uh-uh! Finish your vegetables first!'

"Are you trying to show contempt for this court."

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."