Courtroom Cupids Gifts

Lawyers in love.

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

"Bailiff."

"I'm sorry, sir, but I've got to ask you another question. I heard someone in the courtroom shout out the correct answer."

A baby in court

"Better that a hundred guilty men go free than one innocent man be convicted, right?"

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

"I'll tell you, mock jury duty beats cancer testing."

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

Employer surrenders to case loads of workplace disputes and claims.

"Recess is over, Your Honor."

'Let's try it again. And this time, don't cross your fingers.'

'I object, Your Honor! Hearsay evidence!'

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

"Isn't it true that the prosecution offered you a bone to testify?"

Arrogant junior barrister

"'If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all' doesn't work with a grand jury."

"He says: If they're smart enough to hire a top lawyer and sue us for having wet floors then they're smart enough to look where they're *%&$* going..."

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, dummy!'

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

"The Defendant must stop trying to side-step every question the prosecution asks!"

So you'd like to be a lawyer...we require honest, genuine people, who are prepared to...learn how to fake sincerity.

'Have you seen the ruddy margins the Chinese expect us to take up for this work?'

'Hmmm...It is: innocent until proven guilty? Or is it: guilty until proven innocent?'

''Not guilty'? -- oh, in denial, are we?'

'Remember, don't discuss the case with the jurors.'

"Objections overruled...I also think the defendent looks extremly dodgy"

"You can lie to the prosecutor but don't ever lie to your co-conspirators."

'I seem to have brought the wrong brief case, your honor.'

'I've never sued anyone but I bet I'll be good at it.'

Judges alarm clock: 'beep beep, all rise!'