Courtroom Comrade Gifts

"How was I supposed to know she was allergic?"

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

'Court's in recess!'

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

"Bailiff."

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

'My class is so large and my seat so far back, I feel like I'm taking a distance-learning course.'

A baby in court

"I'm sorry, sir, but I've got to ask you another question. I heard someone in the courtroom shout out the correct answer."

'They named special prosecutors to investigate each other.'

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

"Better that a hundred guilty men go free than one innocent man be convicted, right?"

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

"Just one more outburst and I can have this chicken tenderized."

"I'll tell you, mock jury duty beats cancer testing."

"Your Honor, prior to sentencing, if it please the court, I'd like to make just a few brief remarks about pâte brisée."

Justice 4 Ron

Portrait of a Serial Attorney.

"Recess is over, Your Honor."

'Let's try it again. And this time, don't cross your fingers.'

'I object, Your Honor! Hearsay evidence!'

"Isn't it true that the prosecution offered you a bone to testify?"

'Oh, he's been a bad dog all right - why else would he lawyer up?'

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

Arrogant junior barrister

"'If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all' doesn't work with a grand jury."

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, dummy!'

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

So you'd like to be a lawyer...we require honest, genuine people, who are prepared to...learn how to fake sincerity.

"The Defendant must stop trying to side-step every question the prosecution asks!"