Courtroom Kid Gifts

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

I love Lawyers

'Court's in recess!'

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"Bailiff."

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

"I object!" "Overruled!"

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

"I'm sorry, sir, but I've got to ask you another question. I heard someone in the courtroom shout out the correct answer."

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

Justice 4 Ron

"Just one more outburst and I can have this chicken tenderized."

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

"Better that a hundred guilty men go free than one innocent man be convicted, right?"

"I've asked you not to overrule me in front of the children."

Portrait of a Serial Attorney.

"Your Honor, prior to sentencing, if it please the court, I'd like to make just a few brief remarks about pâte brisée."

'They named special prosecutors to investigate each other.'

'The Grand Jury doesn't understand me...'

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

The Birth of a Lawsuit

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

"I'll tell you, mock jury duty beats cancer testing."

"Recess is over, Your Honor."

'Let's try it again. And this time, don't cross your fingers.'

'I object, Your Honor! Hearsay evidence!'

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

'Oh, he's been a bad dog all right - why else would he lawyer up?'