Court Programs Gifts

"Henry is addicted to all of the Court programs."

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

Barristers

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

Prosecution bears the burden of proof. Defense bears the burden of twisting and distorting said proof.

'During the break, my client stole my wallet.'

"Am I going to get my just desserts?"

Justice 4 Ron

"Boy is he good! He's even got me convinced you're guilty!"

'Your mom is probably watching. Go for the jugular.'

"Isn't it true that the prosecution offered you a bone to testify?"

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

'If you can't afford a media adviser the court will appoint you one.'

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, my client blah blah...."

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"

Jurors saying 'I'm on the jury' on their mobiles.

'We find the defendant guilty. I mean, why else would he go out and hire the best lawyer in town?'

Judge to attorneys in courtroom wearing boxing gloves: 'Looks like you're both ready for your opening arguments, gentlemen?'

'No, no. I told you to look for a precedent.'

"Let's try the swearing-in process again, and this time, without the high-fives at the end."

Counsel examining witness

'Are you sure you saw my client do it? Let me remind you, it takes one to know one.'

"The charge is loitering, your honor."

"We can't put you in a Witness-Protection Program unless you actually witnessed something."

Mel Hoffman - Attorney TO the stars.

Moral Bankruptcy Court

Barrister pointing out dozing judge to the jury

Stenographer wants 15 minutes of court repeated

"ll I was doing was following my dream...turns out that contravened the restraining order."

'Being granted immunity doesn't include not having to pay my bill.'

'Luckily you caught it in time while you're still alive to sue.'

Barristers wearing clothes pegs to overcome a bad smell

"The genius of the justice system for us is that everyone has the right to a lawyer."

Good news, I reduced your sentence from 250 years to 150 years!