Programs Gifts

'If he wasn't in a 12-step program he wouldn't get any exercise at all.'

'I can't believe they made a sequel.'

Smart TV

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

Pounding speeds up the computer.

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

The Computer Bore

Online form - Submit.

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"Google car."

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"He's taught himself work-life balance."

Olivia just hacked into the boy scouts' site and sold them 30,000 boxes of cookies.

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

Evolution.

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

'You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it while I was in the womb.'

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

Mac OS 20

"Just one more site!" "I'm totally, like, in control!" "I can quit anytime I feel like it..."

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

'Help! I'm wired and I can't get up!'

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

"So, what does everyone think of XX81's suggestion for increased funding into AI research?"