Program Picker Gifts

Note to viewers: we've cut back on sexual content by replacing it with violence.

Pounding speeds up the computer.

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

The Computer Bore

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'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"He's taught himself work-life balance."

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

Evolution.

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

'You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it while I was in the womb.'

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

'Help! I'm wired and I can't get up!'

"So, what does everyone think of XX81's suggestion for increased funding into AI research?"

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

Same Day Delivery: "I wish!"

Obsession with the Internet.

"He loves his computer but it's a love that's not returned."

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

I.T. Fear

"My mom programmed my toothbrush to follow me until I use it. It's cruel but effective."

Computer Expert