Prescription Picker Gifts

'You forgot you list of possible side-effects.'

Same Day Delivery: "I wish!"

"No, I won't write your prescription legibly...you'd just google it and ask a lot of dumb questions."

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

'If you begin to feel unwell, start or stop taking aspirin...'

'Every war game scenario I've run has you picking up the check.'

"Take 4 teaspoons of this medicine every day. . ."

"Why, Ed Dunlop! Didn't you used to be my chief stock picker?"

"Whatever doesn't kill me gives me the chance to try new prescriptions."

Note to viewers: we've cut back on sexual content by replacing it with violence.

"As a confirmed hypochondriac, I rely on placebos to get me through the day."

"He's very finicky."

'Can I trust a Doctor whose prescriptions have absolutely no side effects?'

EU money addiction

"I get paid by the word."

'Wait! Tell me again about the 'excessive gas and oily discharge'?'

Man has drug cabinet labelled 'Safe Drugs' and 'Not Sure Drugs'.

'Taking anti-depressants is getting me down...'

'This prescription looks as though the doctor wrote it in Greek.'

'H-m-m-mm...may cause insomnia, joint pain, nausea, dizziness, lethargy,gas, irritability, muscle ache, bloating and may nullify the initial good feeling'

Delivered Pretty Much To Your Door!

Pharmacy: 'It's a miracle drug because it hasn't been taken off the market yet.'

"What you need is a prescription. I'm giving you some...."

'Doctor Leaping Leopard's prescriptions are always impossible to read!'

"I can't read this scribble. . . ! Just get the usual random boxes off the top shelf. . ."

'Take two of these after I leave the room.'

"My job is to confirm your 15 prescriptions are compatible."

Turned out to be a not-so-lucky bottle cap.

"For your mood swings I'm prescribing the feel-good movie of the year. It's rated Rx."

"Yeah, it's not cheap. But Big Pharma's depending on you."

"Take the green pill to feel hunky, the yellow pill to feel dory."

'Wow, he survived! I didn't have a clue what his doctor scribbled down when I filled that prescription.'

Pharmacist wanted. Must be able to open child-proof bottle caps & read doctor's prescriptions.

"Antacids, antibacterials, antibiotic, antidepressants, antispasmodics...we'd like something positive for a change."

"My doctor has me on a lot of prescriptions."