Prescription Collector Gifts

"My doctor has me on a lot of prescriptions."

"As a confirmed hypochondriac, I rely on placebos to get me through the day."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

Tommy Cooper at the bottle bank - Glass, Bottle, Bottle, Glass..

"No, I won't write your prescription legibly...you'd just google it and ask a lot of dumb questions."

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

"Number 2. Step forward please."

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His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

Bottletrees.

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

"Your shout!"

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

'This cork idea of yours is great! How do you get it out?'

"Hey, Dad, guess what? My Honus Wagner baseball card is worth $2.1 million!"

"I wonder what this was for."

"Whatever doesn't kill me gives me the chance to try new prescriptions."

Side Effects

'How old is this vase?'

Car insurance, breakdown cover, mobile insurance, home insurance, camera insurance... - 'Life insurance, health insurance, professional indemnity, and tax insurance.' - 'Let the bad times roll... heh, heh!'

'Hello, please take care of my ship in a bottle.'

Wine: New and Old.

"Hmm interesting Hallmark..."

Carrier Pigeons

3 Bottle Banks - Clear, coloured and rum bottles.

'...but the good new is your old Enron stock has become a high-priced collectible!'

"I never expected you to pay through the nose."

'You forgot you list of possible side-effects.'

'Your entire library consists of nothing but tabloids bound in Corinthian leather?'