Court Hustler Gifts

'Don't make excuses, Moore! If you can't guard that guy, I'll put someone in who can!'

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

'How about a game of cards?'

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

'Pass it to Dewey! He's got himself into some kind of rhythm!!'

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

'Would you all please congatulate...'

'Wait!... I don't want to take Brady out right now. He's just getting into rhythm.'

Before getting a basketball scholarship, Jack worked at a pancake house.

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

Unfettered Corporate Campaigning.

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

Planet of the Lawyers

"Better luck next time, kid."

Tennis ball girl.

"I say we move on to dessert."

Portrait of a Serial Attorney.

Justice 4 Ron

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

"Just one more outburst and I can have this chicken tenderized."

Basketball.

"Your Honor, prior to sentencing, if it please the court, I'd like to make just a few brief remarks about pâte brisée."

'They named special prosecutors to investigate each other.'

'Court is in recess for one hour. Everyone convene on the playground and we will choose sides for dodgeball!'

'Oh, he's been a bad dog all right - why else would he lawyer up?'

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

'That will be 100 hours of community service in some other community.'

'Captain, we're going to have to ask you to stop spiking the ball.'

"At least he's honest about it..."

"I'm pre-legal analysis."

"What makes me a great attorney, as opposed to an adequate one? - My brother, the judge."

'Watch what you admit to. He once tried to fine one of my clients for looking a gift horse in the mouth.'

'Radford, go in for Bloom. ... Uh-uh-uh! Finish your vegetables first!'

"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"