Law Firm Hustler Gifts

'Follow that ambulance!'

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

Work Slave

'I have a typical nine to five job. It's enough work for nine people and I'm treated like a five year old.'

'Lateral hires are always told we do things differently here.'

Running Latte

Engineer on the move.

'I tried to warn you, Fred. As the economy goes, so goes the corporate culture here!'

"My wife's lawyer doesn't understand me."

'You're kidding... I've got a masters in philosophy too!'

'Yes, that's our bathroom. We're a startup, so plumbing and running water is a luxury.'

'Still doing the work of three people, huh?'

'I understand Benson is the principle partner here.'

'You know you're doing your job right when both coaches are mad at you.'

'You've got plenty of time for a little prayer before you get to him.'

"I don't mind your acting as your own attorney, but would you please stop hopping on and off that damned chair?"

'You want a raise? - You only started work yesterday!'

"These new regulations will fundamentally change the way we get around them."

'Normally, Schowalter, I applaud initiative, but....'

This Dynamic high-powered team of does and decision makers reaches and screeches to a halt in front of its most difficult obstacle of the year.

'Congratulations you have just made our one millionth request for a raise!'

"Since we're a startup, we were hoping you would pay us to work here."

'I should have gone to my chiropractor before this meeting.'

'So many loopholes, so little time.'

"Working from home he misses his meetings."

'Don't make excuses, Moore! If you can't guard that guy, I'll put someone in who can!'

...Let's talk about your sale's order.

"My stockbroker, my real estate broker and my power broker … all losers!"

"I've been promoted from working for free to working for bitcoins."

'We're going to need a bigger rug or we're sunk.'

'Perpetual Sutdent Syndrome Clinic' Director: R. Chones, BA, MA, PhD, MSW, MBA.

'No one takes me seriously because I'm a small business man.'

'Times must be hard, you're the sixth self-employed freelancer I've seen this week whose expenses exceed income...'

"Just because I'm forced to work from home, doesn't mean I deserve any less respect than when I worked in an actual office!"

"While the duck appears to be calmly working from home, under the surface it is frantically checking social media."