Law Firm Fanatic Gifts

'Lateral hires are always told we do things differently here.'

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

I'm accused of kicking you in the womb, but your evidence is purely circumstantial. Lawyer baby.

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

Ruth Bader Ginsburg - Forever Supreme

'It's only fair to warn you that if you get the job there would be a lot of filing involved.'

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

InIn by-products.

Research and Development: Now, Never.

In - Out - Pending.

Musuem. Galileo did an experiment by dropping cannonballs from the Tower of Pisa. I wonder what he discovered? Personal injury lawsuits!

"Who's the idiot who filed Phil under F?"

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

'Remember - do not try to plant the seeds from these apples. They're intellectual property, and they're copyrighted.'

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

"Haven't you ever heard of the first amendment?"

I've refiled all your letters under L.

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, my client blah blah...."

It Looks Like Trumpty Dumpty Got His Wall After All.

They Are Not Going to Take Me

"I was caught and released. But according to news reports, I remain a fish of interest."

"Apparently, you have very little respect for our judicial system, sauntering in here with only one lawyer."

In one ear/Out the other.

'The last Doctor to go into medical records has still not been found.'

Dive in Archive.

'Tell the truth: does this affidavit make me look fat?'

US Gun Control Debates.